https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/top-tips-for-postpartum-recovery <h3> Top tips for postpartum recovery </h3> <div> <img src="https://cdn.website-editor.net/md/and1/dms3rep/multi/111463.jpeg" alt="Photograph of a persons arm being held and massaged by a second person. "/> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <div> <span> You’ve prepared for birth, but what about your emotional and physical transition into motherhood? </span> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Here’s some tips to help you plan and recover; </b> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <span> Rest and take things slowly </span> </div> <div> Rest is essential in the early days. Lie down as much as possible to support healing. When ready, start gentle walks, stretching, or postpartum yoga. Listen to your body and your intuition, not what society expects of you. In an ideal world, in these very early days, your job is just to look after your new baby/s – it’s everyone else’s job to look after you, your home and any older children. Make a list of jobs around the house that you would be happy to let someone else help with and stick it on your fridge. Then, if anyone comes over and offers some help, you can ask them to pick something off the list. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <i> Doula tip: </i> Try the ‘5-5-5 Rule’—rest in bed for 5 days, then sit on the bed for 5 days, and finally stay near the bed for 5 days. Staying in your pyjamas and close to your bed reminds you to take it steady, and any visitors that you’re recovering and not available for long visits. It helps if you can plan for this level of rest and support prior to birth. Talk to partners, friends, and family about how they can support you. You could also look into employing a postnatal doula to help you meet your needs on your terms. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <span> Nourish Your Body </span> </div> <div> Eat warm, nutrient-rich foods like proteins, leafy greens, and whole grains. Stay hydrated, especially if breastfeeding and in warmer weather. Breastfeeding also burns extra calories, so keeps some nutritious snacks handy for those long cluster feeds when you can’t get up to eat. Keep taking a good quality multivitamin and iron supplement – your antenatal vitamins are usually still okay to continue taking once you’ve given birth if you have some to use up. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <i> Doula tip: </i> More families are turning towards Nesting Parties whist pregnant, which blends a Western style baby shower, with useful tasks such as preparing meals for the freezer, getting your home ready for baby, and sharing postpartum wisdom. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <span> Embrace Holistic Practices </span> </div> <div> Try a gentle postnatal massage, aromatherapy, or homeopathy. These are a great baby shower gift for those who want to treat you rather than baby. For an easy DIY home treatment, add a few drops of lavender essential oil to some Epsom bath salts. Pour a generous amount into your bath to help with sleep, pain relief, healing of the perineum, and relaxation of your muscles and mind. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <i> Doula tip: </i> Look for a service called ‘Closing The Bones’ in your area. This is a massage and post birth ritual that some Doulas offer. Based on Mexican traditions, it can offer a blend of body work, birth debriefing and honouring the transition you’ve been through. It can be offered at many stages of life including postnatally, when going through pregnancy loss or during menopause. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <span> Professional Support </span> </div> <div> In the early days, contact your GP or midwife if you notice any concerning symptoms such as excessive bleeding, high temperature or unusual mood. Midwifes are usually still available to families in the first couple of weeks for any post-birth queries. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> If you experience bladder leaking or discomfort, consult a pelvic floor physiotherapist. There are private providers available or you can ask your GP. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> If you’re struggling with breastfeeding, many areas have regular, free peer support groups. Theres a free 24-hour National Breastfeeding Helpline; 0300 100 0212, which might be a good place to start if you’re unsure about services in your area. Don’t underestimate the support you might need when you decide to stop breastfeeding, or the feelings you might have if you’re struggling to breastfeed. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Depending on how you feel your birth went, you may have thoughts and emotions that you need to process. Some families find requesting their hospital notes or a birth debrief with the hospital or a Doula, helpful. For others, talking therapy is an option. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> There are also specialist postnatal mental health services available for the first 12 months after birth for low mood – ask your GP for a referral to your nearest perinatal mental health service. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Whatever the issue, please don’t be afraid to reach out. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <i> Doula tip: </i> It’s a great idea to put together a list of support groups and organisations in your area before you give birth, so you have them handy if you need them. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Remember: Your Recovery Is Your Own </b> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> There’s no set timeline postpartum recovery – it is more of a growing process than a return to how you were before. Wherever you are in your postpartum journey, accept all the support you can, and remember to be kind to yourself. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Link to the article posted on the Gymboree website: https://gymbo.co.uk/news/solihull/solihull-doulas-top-tips-for-postpartum-recovery/ </div> <div> <br/> </div> </div> Fri, 17 Apr 2026 12:52:07 GMT https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/top-tips-for-postpartum-recovery thumbnail main image https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/why-tongue-tie-matters A book review of 'Why Tongue Tie Matters', by Sarah Oakley, a Pinter & Martin publication. This book covers breastfeeding issues, tongue tie division and how to get support. <h4> I review <i> 'Why Tongue-Tie Matters' </i> by Sarah Oakley <div> A Pinter and Martin publication </div> </h4> <div data-rss-type="text"> <div> If you’re a new family in search of quick, factual and helpful information about tongue-tie, then this is the user-friendly book for you. Oakley writes in a way that is easy to understand without unnecessarily complicating the issue with medical terminology.  <br/> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> As a Doula, one of the most useful chapters for me, was that of the impact of tongue-tie on infant feeding. It stresses the importance of having a tongue-tie assessed by a qualified expert, but importantly also addresses what other things might be causing pain and feeding issues. It therefore becomes a book not just relevant to those affected by tongue-tie, but anyone experiencing problems with their breast feeding journey. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Those seeking facts about dividing a tie can read about the process and the research behind the procedure, giving them enough information to make an informed decision about whether a procedure is right for their baby. For families waiting for a procedure, or those keen to try other non-medical interventions, there are plenty of practical tips on getting a more effective latch, expressing and finding specialist help. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> As with other books in this Pinter and Martin ‘Why’ series, this guide is interspersed with stories from real families about their success and difficulties with feeding, tongue-tie, and division processes. It presents all sides of the issue, without pushing you down a biased route.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> ‘Why Tongue-Tie Matters’, goes beyond a simple physiological view of tongue-tie and the options for resolution, it is a companion guide for anyone who supports or plans to breastfeed. I’m pleased to add this to my tool kit and will recommend it to parents-to-be and those experiencing feeding challenges alike.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> You can order your copy of the book using my Amazon link: <a href="https://amzn.to/3ufYkby" target="_blank"> https://amzn.to/3ufYkby </a> </div> </div> Mon, 31 Jan 2022 16:37:32 GMT 183:781772480 (Melanie Butcher) https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/why-tongue-tie-matters tongue,feeding,book,breastfeeding,latch thumbnail main image https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/why-change-is-needed-in-our-maternity-services My view as a Doula on what is wrong with the UK maternity system and how it does not support birthing people or allow midwives to work effectively. <h3> We don't need to fix birth, we need to fix the system </h3> <div data-rss-type="text"> Do you ever just take a step back from something and wonder, what the actual fuck are we doing? I’m looking at maternity services in the UK and wondering that right now.  <div> <br/> </div> <div> Birth is a natural event. It’s not a medical event. It rarely needs intervention. Of course every family who has had a genuine emergency in child birth is hugely grateful for the experience and services of a medical professional. However, a lot of the problems seem to be CAUSED by the maternity system. Sweeps and other inductions for no medical reason increase the risk of further interventions which have worse outcomes for mums and babies. Why are we doing that? Medical settings, vaginal examinations, continuous monitoring. These reduce the chance of birth taking its natural course as they interrupt the natural balance of hormones. Why are we doing that?  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> It feels like it’s because of hospital policy and that policy states; </div> <div> <ul> <li> ‘You can’t come onto the unit until you are at least 4 cms.’  <br/> </li> <li> ‘Baby is measuring too large’.  <br/> </li> <li> ‘You’ve gone past 40 weeks, your placenta might fail’.  <br/> </li> <li> ‘We have to hook you up to continuous monitoring before we can admit you’.  <br/> </li> </ul> </div> <div> These ‘rules’ aren’t person centred. They aren’t based on clinical judgement of the person in front of them. They often aren’t even based on the most up-to-date research. Often, policies are based on ease for hospital staff (baby has to be weighed now instead of having immediate skin to skin with mum), needing a paper trail (continuous monitoring), or to risk of litigation if they are shown not to have done ‘something’ (post dates induction for no other reason than estimated due date has passed).  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> As a birth doula, I am constantly educating families on how to ask for reasons and evidence behind big clinical decisions. I am helping them to make a medical birth space into a space more conducive to birth. I am telling them that vaginal examinations are not a requirement (Who ever decided having someone’s fingers in your vagina should give you access to maternity care?!). I’m explaining that there are risks involved with a sweep. I’m informing them that there are such things as wireless monitors, they can still move around and that continuous monitoring doesn’t actually improve birth outcomes. Suggestion that birthing on a bed is actually the hardest position to give birth in. If they chose those procedures for themselves based on non-biased information, because it feels right for them and their family, then fantastic. However, I often hear people coerced both kindly and with scaremongering. I hear them presented with only half the information. I hear their concerns brushed aside. I’ve had my own concerns and preferences brushes aside during my births. I hear people worn down with fear that their baby might die if they don’t submit.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> I am also not a Doula who feels that everyone should birth in the woods with no medical attention or pain relief. I am pro <b> INFORMED </b> choice. We just aren’t informing and equipping our expectant families on normal, physiological birth enough and we’re too quick to jump in with a solution when actually all that’s needed is a little time and support. </div> <div> 
I am also not critical of the majority of midwives working in the NHS system, they go into midwifery for the right reasons and work hard to meet the expectations and knowledge levels of their degrees. And many of them are extremely caring and I know some also share some of my concerns. It’s just that they have to work within the guidelines of their hospital trust rather than using their experience, instinct, and a more holistic approach even where they can see it’s needed. Every intervention or monitoring that the trust recommends has to be offered. So where you might feel that a midwife understands your wishes, to be offered interventions that are against these, starts to break down trust. Also, where a birthing person turns it down, midwives have to document this. It starts to create a subtle conflict between midwife and birther. And it makes the person birthing start to doubt themselves. They start wondering if they should accept the suggested intervention if a medical professional is offering it to them. Causing more fear and therefore more difficulties in their birth. It must wear those midwives down too, making them jaded about birth, their careers and the process? </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> The way the system is currently run on policy and insurance issues, rather than birthing person led supported by midwifes who can use their training and experience autonomously, is wrong. It’s the reason that independent Doula’s are needed. It’s why birth trauma is on the rise. It’s why inductions are becoming the norm rather than the exception. It’s why birth is becoming increasingly medicalised. It’s a cycle that will continue unless we change the whole system. </div> <div> <br/> </div> </div> Tue, 15 Jun 2021 14:34:36 GMT 183:781772480 (Melanie Butcher) https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/why-change-is-needed-in-our-maternity-services medicalisation,midwife,maternity,birth,support thumbnail main image https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/advocating-and-empowerment-in-birth As Doula's, should we be advocating and talking about empowering the women and people we support? Or in offering these things, are we actually removing power and choice? <h3> The role of the Doula </h3> <div data-rss-type="text"> There seems to be a little bit of controversy in the birth world around the role of Doula's when it comes to empowering and advocacy in the birth room. I want to try and unpick this little and give you my stance on this.  <div> <br/> </div> <div> It is a view by some, that Doula's should not profess to 'empower' birthers, as they already have the power.  They have it within themselves and therefore do not need to be given the means to achieve.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> I wholeheartedly agree that birthing women and people, totally have the power to birth without needing to be given the power or tools to achieve their goals. However, as a society and within our maternity services, I think that we have eroded that knowledge, free choice and belief in ourselves. This is partly through the depiction of medicated birth that we so often see in films and on TV and partly through how our maternity services are run. They have a blanket 'one size fits all' approach, and one that does not easily and openly allow choice and autonomy. We are often told things like, <i> "you have to be induced" </i> or <i> "you're failing to progress" </i> or <i> "we can't let you in the pool". </i> Surely with so much being taken away from us, a counter balance is needed? I feel that Doula's can fill that gap. We let you know that you always have choice even when you're told 'you're not allowed'. We give balanced information based on fact that takes into account the pros and cons, not just hospital policy. Plus we see the whole person, not just the machines, charts and clock. So in addressing the imbalance of our system, I think we are giving empowerment BACK.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Regarding advocacy, I think here the problem lies in our understanding of the definition. The verb of advocate means to recommend something. In the birth world this could therefore mean recommending one type of pain relief over another, or advising a particular place of birth. This definition goes against what the majority of Doula's offer and stand for. Where as the the British definition of the noun, advocate, means <i> "a person who upholds or defends a cause; a supporter; a person who intercedes on behalf of another."  </i> This definition is much more in line with what I offer and feel is needed sometimes during birth.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> When you work with a Doula, they spend hours with you ahead of a birth, understanding all your wants, fears, wishes and worries. We make birth plans with you for all eventualities. We get to the bottom of what your non-negotiable are and what you are willing to discuss depending on the situation. We have conversations with you about what you want to do in the event of any difficult circumstances. We know how you want us to work with you during labour as you've told us and we've listened. During birth, there may come a time when you want to stay in 'your zone', undisturbed. You may become overwhelmed and emotional. You may have been speaking to your birth team about what you want or need, but you might not be being heard. It is at these points that we can 'defend your cause', and advocate on your behalf. No, we aren't making decisions for you. We are however the ones that have understood your need and are able to articulate it clearly in that moment, when perhaps you are unable, unwilling or aren't being heard. When I have advocated on someone's behalf, I will do the talking but will always then refer back to the person I'm advocating for and check. " <i> That's right isn't it?"  </i> or <i> "have I summarised that for you correctly " </i> or <i> "that's what you told me earlier, is that still the case?" </i> </div> <div> <i> <br/> </i> </div> <div> So empowerment and advocacy aren't something to fear or shy away from in the birth world, they are how we can give power back, voices back, address any previous imbalances, and make sure pregnant people are getting the births that they need and deserve, whatever that looks like for them.  </div> <div> <i> <br/> </i> </div> <div> <i> <br/> </i> </div> <div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> <br/> </b> </div> <div> <b> Colins English Dictionary definitions: </b> </div> <div> <i> "Empowerment - the empowerment of a person or group of people is the process of giving them power and status in a particular situation. To empower someone means to give them the means to achieve something, for example to become stronger or more successful." </i> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <i> "An advocate - a person who upholds or defends a cause; supporter </i> </div> <div> <i> a person who intercedes on behalf of another..." </i> </div> </div> <div> <i> <br/> </i> </div> <div> <span> definitions taken from: <a href="https://www.collinsdictionary.com"> https://www.collinsdictionary.com </a>   </span> </div> </div> Tue, 11 May 2021 11:43:30 GMT 183:781772480 (Melanie Butcher) https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/advocating-and-empowerment-in-birth getting support,advocating,boundaries,doula role,empowering,labour thumbnail main image https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/prenatal-depression A personal story of prenatal (pregnancy) depression, and the support available, especially if you are in the Solihull and Birmingham areas of the West Midlands. <h3> <span> Depression during pregnancy &amp; support available in Solihull &amp; Birmingham </span> </h3> <div> <img src="https://cdn.website-editor.net/c3aa7928f5d644ef920a1d32c5763d20/dms3rep/multi/IMG_2465-3.JPG"/> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> This is one of the few photographs of me pregnant with my second child.  <div> <br/> <div> That’s because at about 8-weeks pregnant, I was totally floored by pre-natal depression. I didn’t leave the house very much and mostly spent time crying, sleeping and eating chocolate, around trying to care for my 18month old.  </div> <div> This was something that I hadn’t experienced with my first pregnancy so it came as a complete shock.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> My overriding thoughts were very negative, around how I didn’t want to be pregnant, and that I was being a ‘bad mum’ to both my toddler and my unborn child. My self-loathing, feelings of overwhelm and anxiety were exasperated by the fact that I thought I was harming my unborn baby with these negative feelings and stress hormones.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> I mentioned these feelings to my midwife (although not in detail as I didn’t want her to think I couldn’t cope!) It was only my husband who I was able to be truly honest with about the thoughts in my head. Luckily he was brilliant and totally understood my fears and was able to constantly reassure me. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> I did seek help but there was very little around and it took until 32 weeks pregnant to actually get any kind of professional support. Help came eventually through the specialist mental health midwife who referred me to the P <a href="https://www.bsmhft.nhs.uk/our-services/specialist-services/perinatal-mental-health-service/" target="_blank"> erinatal mental health team in Birmingham </a>  outpatients service, who were great. Your GP can also refer you to them (and this may be quicker than waiting for the specialist midwife), but you may have to specifically ask as my GP was unaware of the service.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> I also got support from <a href="https://www.bsmhft.nhs.uk/our-services/birmingham-healthy-minds/" target="_blank"> Birmingham Healthy Minds, </a> where I was able to be triaged and then booked in for 6 sessions on CBT. I really didn’t think that CBT would be right for me but it really helped! It was lots of quick tips to try and I saw instant results. It also helped me to see how I had got into a negative thought cycle. Again there was a long waiting list but I’m glad I stuck with it. You can self-refer to their service.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> I also attended some sessions at <a href="https://www.acacia.org.uk/help-and-support/" target="_blank"> Acacia Family Support </a>  who you can self-refer to. This support charity are well worth getting in touch with if you are suffering during or after having your baby. They offer training, support and a listening ear in group and one-to-one settings. They also have lots of self-help guides on their website.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> One of the hurdles for me seeking help was the fact that I wanted a home birth. I knew that declaring mental health issues would put me into the high risk category. I chose to attend a consultants appointment about the risk versus benefits and she was more than happy to rubber-stamp my informed decision. However, I now know that home birth is your right and your hospital trust will attend to support you during a home birth if this is what you decide is best for you - rubber stamp or not.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Following the birth, I decided to start taking anti-depressant medication. I spoke at length with the Perinatal Mental Health Team about the safety of the drug when breast feeding and I felt really reassured. They are the most informed team about the effect of antidepressants on your baby, both during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Your GP can also seek their advice on the most appropriate medication for you. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> My messages to anyone suffering right now are: </b> </div> <div> <ul> <li> Seek help now. Support can take time so act early.  <br/> </li> <li> Be honest about the extent of your feelings with those you trust. <br/> </li> <li> Know that you are not alone in feeling this way.  <br/> </li> <li> In seeking help, you won’t be judged as a bad Mum.  <br/> </li> <li> Hold this thought, 'It does get better'.  </li> </ul> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Other places of support: </b> </div> <div> <ul> <li> 24/7 NHS urgent mental health helpline for Solihull and Birmingham - Tel. 0121 262 3555 <br/> </li> <li> Panda's is a national charity supporting pre and postnatal depression -  <a href="https://pandasfoundation.org.uk"> https://pandasfoundation.org.uk </a>   <br/> </li> <li> Solihull Mind - <a href="http://www.solihullmind.org.uk"> http://www.solihullmind.org.uk </a>   <br/> </li> <li> Plus the national Mind website has some specific information on perinatal mental health - <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/about-maternal-mental-health-problems/"> https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/about-maternal-mental-health-problems/ </a>   </li> <li> Maternal OCD is a national charity co-founded by two mothers, who have experienced and recovered from perinatal obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) - <a href="https://maternalocd.org"> https://maternalocd.org </a>   </li> </ul> <div> <br/> </div> <div> You can also contact a birth Doula to work with you during your pregnancy and birth. Although we are not trained therapists, we work with you to identify any fears and worries you have about birth, make informed plans with you and then use this and our training, to help you to achieve the birth you want. We fully support your choices, are non-judgemental, and are a calm and trusted person able to provide you with continuity of care.   </div> </div> </div> </div> </div> Thu, 06 May 2021 00:22:23 GMT 183:781772480 (Melanie Butcher) https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/prenatal-depression anxiety,getting support,low mood,medication,depression,autism and pregnancy,services,prenatal depression thumbnail main image https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/best-pregnancy-and-birth-books These are the best books to read about pregnancy, labour, birth and parenthood, as recommended by a Birth and Postnatal Doula. <h3> My recommended reading list </h3> <div data-rss-type="text"> I’ve always loved books through for a small child with my Ladybird fairytales through to my English Literature degree and beyond. When it comes to books of pregnancy and birth, I love books that are clear, concise and that don’t make you feel like a bad parent regarding the choices you are making! <div> <br/> </div> <div> All of the following books I have personally read, and I refer back to the often when I am looking for information for clients about particular issues. All of these are available on Amazon. I also have a copy of each of these that I am happy to loan out to clients of those who cannot afford to buy their own copy at this time. Please get in touch if you would like to borrow my copy.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> The other way you can consume many of them is via audio book. I never got into audio books until I had kids and needed to make the most of my time and I can honesty say that they’ve been a saviour for my mental health! You can try it for free using my Audible  <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Free-Trial-Digital-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?tag=solihulldou00-21" target="_blank"> referral link </a> .  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> I’ll be adding more over time and I will start adding some reviews, so please let me know if there are any you’d like me to include or to cover first.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Overview of pregnancy and birth </b> </div> <div> The Day-By-Day Pregnancy Book </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3etuRBm"> https://amzn.to/3etuRBm </a> </div> <div> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Birth Matters </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3xupaM0"> https://amzn.to/3xupaM0 </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Am I Allowed? </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3voaJaI"> https://amzn.to/3voaJaI </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Books covering specific aspects of labour and birth </b> </div> <div> Essential Oils For Pregnancy, Birth and Babies </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3dSDfLG"> https://amzn.to/3dSDfLG </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Hypnobirthing, The Mongan Method  </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3dRUi0n"> https://amzn.to/3dRUi0n </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Why Induction Matters </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3ntz9g3"> https://amzn.to/3ntz9g3 </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Why Homebirth Matters </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3xrwCaK"> https://amzn.to/3xrwCaK </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Why Caesarean Matters </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/2QZqaHl"> https://amzn.to/2QZqaHl </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> The Midwife’s Labour and Birth Handbook </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3vnCkbS"> https://amzn.to/3vnCkbS </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Birth After Caesarean </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3ntxhnx"> https://amzn.to/3ntxhnx </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> The postnatal period and becoming a mother </b> </div> <div> Why Postnatal Recovery Matters </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/2RYkEVS"> https://amzn.to/2RYkEVS </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Golden Month </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3gI6UsA"> https://amzn.to/3gI6UsA </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Why Mothering Matters </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3xlbbYW"> https://amzn.to/3xlbbYW </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Parenthood and caring for children </b> </div> <div> Your Baby Week By Week </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3nnD0v8"> https://amzn.to/3nnD0v8 </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Two Under Two </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3nADb6F"> https://amzn.to/3nADb6F </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Raising Boys </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3nq75u6"> https://amzn.to/3nq75u6 </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Five Minute Mum </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3gIBEcX"> https://amzn.to/3gIBEcX </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Mixed Up: Combination Feeding by Choice or Necessity </div> <div> <a href="https://amzn.to/3gI0IRC"> https://amzn.to/3gI0IRC </a> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> You can add any of these books, plus other products to your own <a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/baby-reg?tag=AssociateTrackingID?tag=solihulldou00-21"> Amazon Baby Wish List </a> for free.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <i> Please note, if you buy via my links, I may earn a small commission from amazon at no extra cost to you. I also fully support you buying from your local independent book shop.  </i> </div> </div> Tue, 27 Apr 2021 09:09:29 GMT 183:781772480 (Melanie Butcher) https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/best-pregnancy-and-birth-books postnatal,recomended,parenthood,book,feeding,reading,preperation,autism and pregnancy,autistic birth,transition thumbnail main image https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/autism-acceptance-and-adapting How can we become more accepting of Autism and support Autistic people to have better birth experiences? <h3> Birth and Autism </h3> <div data-rss-type="text"> April is Autism Acceptance Month and I've seen and felt so much that I wanted to share with the world about Autism at this time. But do you ever feel like it's too overwhelming to do something justice and that stops you from doing anything?! Well that's been me (and coincidently can be an autistic trait :) ) But I have recently shared some thoughts and resources on my personal pages and I feel drawn to show up here too and share a little but about why acceptance rather than awareness matters, how you might experience birth as an Autistic person and how as Doula's, we can work with Autistic people to help support their needs.  <div> <br/> </div> <div> Before I start, a little disclaimer to say that I am not an expert in Autism, and I certainly cannot profess to speak for Autistic people as I am neurotypical. I am however a Mum to an amazing person who happens to be Autistic, and I find there is a lot of cross over in how I support and advocate for my child, and how I research, support and advocate for clients in my work as a Doula. If you are a person with Autism and you feel that you can add to this article or provide any additional resources to help Doulas or Autistic birthers, I'd love to hear from you. It is your voices that are so important in making birth better for Autistic people. <div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Awareness </b> </div> <div> Most people have heard of Autism and have some perceptions of what it might mean to be Autistic, however, people don't necessarily know how to be inclusive. Better understanding about the spectrum of Autism and how it can affects every aspect of someones life, learning, senses and sense of self is needed to become a better alley.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> The medical diagnostic tool currently used to confirm Autism states that difficulties in social communication and in repetitive behaviours are key domains. But how it presents is VAST and different for each and every Autistic person. It can for example include needing more processing time when asked a question, having a sensitivity to certain fabrics, not understanding an analogy, needing to learn based on their interests, feeling safer with routines, feeling heightened anxiety, being over or under sensitive to noise, hot and cold or touch. When a person with Autism becomes overwhelmed by some of these stimuli or demands, they can reach their fight or flight response which may include a 'meltdown', shut down or panic attack.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Birth as an Autistic person </b> <br/> </div> <div> When we bring some of those examples into the birthing world, it is easy to see why a birthing person (or birth partner who is Autistic), might experience some additional challenges to someone who is neurotypical. The traditional birth in a hospital setting in particular could present unpredictability, lack of control, issues around noise, temperature, fabrics and other sensory issues. Also, lots of questions from people we don't know, decisions to make, pain relief issues, and unfamiliar sensations within our own bodies. There is a higher chance that they could go into overwhelm and become very distressed or turn inward and switch off from the experience, both of which can be detrimental. Our job as birth workers is to support them to help prevent the triggers that might contribute to them getting to either of these points, but also to go beyond meeting basic needs, so that they have the opportunity to enjoy and cherish their experience as much as any birthing person wishes to.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> A study published in ' <i> Women and Birth', </i>  (*link below) stated that Autistic women, "... <i> needed to feel more empowered about the circumstances of their giving birth and that they relied on three factors during their experience—clear communication, sensory adjustments and change management.” </i> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> So how might we work together to do that?  </b> </div> <div> <ul> <li> <span> Planning </span> - Birth plans/preferences work on ahead of time help to cover what the person wants in all eventualities. It also is a great exercise for facilitating discussions about how each step of the birth process might unfold. I have taken enquiries from Autistic people who have yet to conceive as they want to be fully prepared. As part of the planning process, asking someone about their pain tolerance might be helpful as Autistic people can be over or under sensitive to pain and knowing this in advance can help you to help them.  </li> <li> <span> Research </span> - This may be even more important to Autistic people. Knowing all the facts, risks and options helps people to feel prepared and in control. Looking into side effects of medication and pain relief options might be part of this research as they may be more aware of the sensations that medication can have on their body and be keen not to upset the balance. Additional exploration on non-invasive pain relief techniques such as water, self-hypnosis and TENs machines might help. This advanced preparation can also give an Autistic person the time they may need to process information and ask any questions that come up for them as a result.  </li> <li> <span> Relationship building </span>  - We know that continuity of care has better outcomes for birthing women already, but a good relationship with a trusted person can be even more crucial to a positive experience. Doula's are in a privilege position to offer this continuity. Doula's can also help to build those relationships with other birth care providers who perhaps don't have as much time per appointment to really get to know their client.  <br/> </li> <li> <span> Picking the right team </span>  - As a chosen Doula, we can help to advocate when another care provider is not being understanding of need. We can also advise and empower our clients that they have the right to change their care provider. We must also remember to check our own misconceptions about Autism and make sure the person in front of us is our focus. We must also make sure we are being very clear in our communication in the way that our client has indicated works for them - just because we usually communicate in one way doesn't mean we have to for every client. They may process information better if its printed out in bullet points or explained in person. Ask! </li> <li> <span> Understanding personal triggers </span>  - This a big exercise in care providers listening to the Autistic person. The Austitic person, knows and understand what their triggers are. Once you have really heard and understood these, you can help to plan for how these triggers can be avoided. Maybe some extra planning needs to be put into place. For example to bring their own sheets to hospital (smell, feel, weight and pattern can all be a factor), or to make sure that everyone in the birth room is aware that the aromatherapy must not be offered and food mustn't be brought into the room. Triggers will be different for each person although as part of becoming more inclusive, we can anticipate some of the common themes such as strong smells, bright lightening, loud noise, periods of transition (moving rooms, change in staff etc), distracting patterns in the room, scratchy materials etc. when we design or set up birthing rooms.  <br/> </li> <li> <span> Understanding main coping mechanisms </span>  As above, the Autistic person will already have coping methods and strategies in place. As a Doula, we are looking to hear what these are and then facilitate a plan on how these can be included in their chosen birth environment. Examples might include the importance of rituals, specific music, ear defenders, a favoured relaxation technique, pressure, touch, or having homely items around them.  <br/> </li> <li> <span> Considering the birth environment </span>  - This will link in closely with the coping mechanisms that work for each person. It may be that a home birth or extended labouring time at home is the best option for someone who has a lot of sensory issues or who likes to be in control of their environment. Where this is not their wish or is not possible, considering how you can make each environment as suitable to that persons needs as possible is going to be a key preventative measure to overwhelm. Where possible visits or photos of the setting should be used. Explanation booklets of their route into the hospital, visiting times, provision of meals etc can all massively reduce anxiety for some people. This in addition to the usual moving round of the birth room to make it less clinical, dimming lights and playing music.  </li> <li> <span> Enabling reasonable adjustments </span>  - It is reasonable to ask for some adjustments to support additional needs. Examples might be having an additional birth partner present, asking for an early labour check at home, a side room to reduce sensory overload, meeting with the health visitor before birth, or being given warning if any new people are required to come into the room. Repeating information or providing information in a different format might be necessary.  </li> <li> <span> Postnatal planing and tailored support </span>  - People with Autism are much more likely to suffer with postnatal depression. It is therefore key that support is put in place postnatally. Continuity of care, parenting preparation and a list of coping mechanisms will also be of huge benefit here. Keeping a close eye on mental health along with the persons usual care team may be beneficial and is something to discuss in advance of birth.  </li> </ul> <div> Please also give consideration to 'stimming' and it's purpose, the link between autism and anxiety, prevalence of tics, sleep issues and special dietary preferences, any care plans that might be in place, and other conditions that are more common in Autistic people such as dyslexia (which may make forms more tricky). Also, someone does not have to have a clinical diagnosis of Autism for them to find some of these strategies useful to them and their needs. This is not an exclusive list and I will add to this article over time as I become aware of new information, strategies and resources.  </div> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> <b> Further reading, information and support </b> </div> <div> <span> <span> Book </span> : 'From Here to Maternity: Pregnancy and Motherhood on the Autism Spectrum', by Lana Grant  <a href="https://amzn.to/3gDUbqS"> https://amzn.to/3gDUbqS </a>   <i> (please note this is my affiliate link. At no cost to you, I may earn a small commission if you buy via my link).  </i> </span> </div> <div> <span> <i> <br/> </i> </span> </div> <div> <span> <span> <span> YouTube video </span> : Alexis Quinn talks in this 5 minute video about what it's like to be Autistic, give birth and become a parent <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1Llqe0btxc"> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1Llqe0btxc </a>   </span> </span> </div> <div> <span> <span> <br/> </span> </span> </div> <div> <span> <span> <span> Article </span> : This links to a study of Autistic women's experience of the perinatal period and motherhood. <a href="https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-019-0304-2"> https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-019-0304-2 </a>   </span> </span> </div> <div> <span> <span> <br/> </span> </span> </div> <div> <span> <span> <span> *Article extract </span> :  <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1871519216301287"> https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1871519216301287 </a>  The full version is unfortunately only available if you pay.  </span> </span> </div> <div> <span> <span> <br/> </span> </span> </div> <div> <span> <span> <span> Website </span> : This article on the autisticuk website, has some preliminary thoughts and a link to some studies that you may find useful  <a href="https://autisticuk.org/are-autistics-empowered-during-pregnancy-and-labour-in-line-with-the-icpd/"> https://autisticuk.org/are-autistics-empowered-during-pregnancy-and-labour-in-line-with-the-icpd/ </a>   </span> </span> </div> <div> <span> <span> <br/> </span> </span> </div> <div> <span> Private Facebook support group </span> : for those who are autistic and planning pregnancy, pregnant or are already a parent,  <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1787884634778278/discussion/preview"> https://www.facebook.com/groups/1787884634778278/discussion/preview </a>   </div> <div> <br/> </div> </div> </div> </div> Mon, 26 Apr 2021 21:49:14 GMT 183:781772480 (Melanie Butcher) https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/autism-acceptance-and-adapting birth plans,positive birth,sensory,birth,doula,autism and pregnancy,autism,autistic birth thumbnail main image https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/when-should-you-book-a-birth-doula <div data-rss-type="text"> This is a question I get asked a lot and, this year, I have seen a large increase in enquiries from people who are not yet pregnant. I love the fact that people are really thinking about their care and addressing any fears they have ahead of time.  <div> <br/> </div> <div> In essence, you can book at any time and the earlier you book, the more likely that your chosen Doula will be available around the time your baby is due. Also, the earlier you book, the more value for money you get as your doula will be available for questions and emails in all trimesters, and around the time of your appointments. The longer you have that doula client relationship, the more you also get to know one another and feel comfortable around your Doula so you are more likely to be relaxed during your labour.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Many people choose to book around the start of their second trimester. I am very happy to talk to people and get them provisionally booked in during their first trimester and then confirm that arrangement and take a deposit after their 12 week scan (if you choose to have one). Once your deposit is paid, those dates around your due date are secured for you. Booking in around this time gives plenty of time for an introduction meeting plus at least two other in-depth meetings to talk about wants and fear, creating a birth preference plan and offer tips, support and information. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> The essence of being a Doula involves getting to know families ahead of birth, helping in pregnancy and knowing all your birth wishes, fears and expectations. However, sometimes circumstances change and you find yourself needing birth support last minute? Perhaps your birth partner is no longer able to attend or you find yourself in different circumstances to how you planned for your birth? If so, don’t panic. You can still get in touch with a doula right up until the time of birth and they will discuss with you how they can help. I can offer this service at a reduced price and you may find other Doula’s will offer similar.  </div> </div> Tue, 23 Mar 2021 12:56:40 GMT https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/when-should-you-book-a-birth-doula pregnancy,doula,support,birth,plan,first trimester thumbnail main image https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/does-it-get-easier-a-message-of-hope-to-tired-parents Reassuring new parents that things do get better as your baby and toddler gets older. Includes tips on how to get through those tough early days. <h3> A message of hope to tired parents </h3> <div> <img src="https://cdn.website-editor.net/c3aa7928f5d644ef920a1d32c5763d20/dms3rep/multi/IMG_2411.JPG" alt="A man laying down asleep with a newborn infant in a pink baby grow, also asleep on his chest. "/> </div> <div data-rss-type="text"> <b> Y </b> esterday I met with a lovely group of women with their fairly new babies and some with toddlers in tow too. Firstly, I expressed my congratulations that they’d actually all made it out of the house for a specific time (something I never achieved with small people and still rarely do now!) The conversation quickly turned to me and whether I had children. Explaining that I have a 7 year old and 5 year old who are currently at school, they were quick to ask ‘does it get better?’ <div> <br/> </div> <div> Put on the spot and thinking about my daily challenges, I paused and was a bit noncommittal, not wanting to alarm these sleep-deprived new parents. However, as I have reflected on my parenting journey over the last 24-hours, I can say with positivity and certainty, that yes, it does get better.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Do I still clean up poo? Yes.  </div> <div> Do I still make all the meals? Yes. </div> <div> Do I still get sleepless nights? Yes. </div> <div> Do I still get little me time? Yes. </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> However, the urgency and frequency of all these caring responsibilities has been diminished, meaning the experience has gradually got less intense. Also, the kids are more self-sufficient. Plus the opportunity to have time to myself has enlarged exponentially with both children now being in school (under normal circumstances of course!) But it has happened so slowly that I hadn’t really taken in the full extent of how far I have come.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> I no longer need to plan my day around nap times and feeds, have to take bottles, snacks, dummies, muslins, change of clothes (for me and them), and nappy bags with me everywhere we go. A drink and coat usually suffice. I don’t co-sleep or lay on cold bedroom floors holding little hands as they drop off but occasionally one will sneak in during the night. I don’t feel touched out or sore nippled. I would no longer sell my kidney for a lay in. They are not by my side every waking moment of every day. Yes there are still challenging days but I have most importantly been able to gain a bit of myself back - I read, run my business around my family and get to meet up with friends from time-to-time. That, and more uninterrupted sleep make everything else seem okay.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> So for now tired parents, accept all the offers of help you can for food prep, house work and babysitting. Where you can afford to, get a cleaner, hire a postnatal Doula, buy some prepared food. When you can, put your feet up instead of doing a pile of washing. Get some fresh air everyday if you can (even if you just put your coat on over your 3-day old t-shirt with the milk stains on). Let your standards slide where you can’t do it all. Take all the opportunities to snuggle up and sleep next to your sleeping baby. Even on the days that it feels like you’re not achieving anything or you haven’t got anything done, you are doing the most important work of all - showing up and loving your child, feeding them and keeping them safe. That’s all you need to do right now. The rest is a bonus that maybe you’ll achieve some days. And believe me when I say, it does absolutely get better.  </div> <div> <br/> </div> <div> Melanie </div> <div> <br/> </div> </div> Sat, 13 Mar 2021 18:37:42 GMT https://www.solihulldoula.co.uk/does-it-get-easier-a-message-of-hope-to-tired-parents sleep,new parents,getting support,toddlers,postpartum,parenting thumbnail main image